Aaron Carter

It's difficult to decide whether continuing to write stories about Michael Jackson and his slightly unusual relationship with other people's children is morally right, what with him being all dead and mouldy nowadays. Not that we wouldn't write them if it wasn't, but it's much more fun throwing rocks down from the moral highground than trying to piss up from the depraved depths. It usually goes all over your shoes, and sometimes drops go in your mouth and stuff. Metaphorical drops, that is.
Unlike the real drops, of booze, that went into Aaron Carter's mouth when he was 15! Yeeeaah! What a segue! (Via OK! Magazine):

‘I never talked about it… This is the first time. I do… I miss Michael… I have spent such incredible times with him. I did things with him that nobody else did… But I was also troubled about what he did to me,’
‘Yes, he gave me wine. I mean, I could have refused, but I was 15. He gave me cocaine. I felt weird about that and other stuff… We spoke afterwards, hours and hours, on the phone. I admired Michael, but his behaviour bothered me a lot. Then my mother called the police…’

Drugs and drink, to minors? Michael, it's starting to look like you weren't the skeletal latex dreamboat we thought you were. However, our main issue with this story is that it's kind of difficult to tell exactly what Earring Cartier is talking about. Is he saying he was troubled about the wine and coke parties, or is he referring to something else, like the naked running-around-and-jumping-on-beds parties? Also, what about the things that no-one else did? Are we talking about getting to the final level of Battletoads on the NES, or are we talking about.
Prostate exams is of course what we meant. Well, we're fucked if we can say. From a legal standpoint anyway.